It’s been almost one year to the day that I submitted my 30-day notice to work.
For the record, I was working for an organization that I loved (and still love) and believed they were making a real impactful and sustainable changes.
I, however, did not feel that way about myself. When my then fiancé had the opportunity to go to Costa Rica for several months, we both decided to go.
While he would have a full time position waiting for him, I would not. I would be – for lack of better words – figuring it out.
It was daunting, frightening, & even lonely
There were lots of tears; that's another thing people don’t talk about. The tears and self-doubt started to become my story and it was so hard not to get swept up in it.
So I did what I knew best to do. I returned back to my yoga mat. I told myself to show up every day, to stay open, to keep moving. That eventually my practice on my mat and my life off the mat would become one.
I read more. I went vegan. I listened to advice. I created a website and started blogging.
I came home, got married, and flew off to Southeast Asia for three months with my husband.
And then it happened. It wasn’t all of a sudden, but rather a gradual change.
All of the distractions were removed. All of the noise dissipated.
I held space for myself and I sat in silence with myself
And then my soul spoke to me
The truth had been inside of me the entire time. I had been living in loudness for so long that I had forgotten to come home to the quiet.
I recently finished “Love Warrior” by Glennon Doyle Melton. This quote stood out to me: “Warrior. Undressed for battle. Strong and benevolent. Both yin and yang. Complete, not in need of completing."
Complete. I was already complete and held truth within myself. I just hadn’t given myself the quiet to allow that voice to come through.
People quit their jobs and travel all the time to find themselves and that’s wonderful – but that’s their journey. Mine has been different. Mine hasn’t been a journey of self discovery but rather a journey of self-awakening.
I returned home from Asia this week and life got a little noisy again. And that’s ok. Life should be loud.
But we should always hold space for quiet and as soon as our voice starts to become a little quieter, we should hold quiet space so that we can hear it with clarity and ferocity.
If you’re traveling to find yourself, know that you may already know yourself. That maybe, just maybe, you just need some quiet to hear yourself.